How to Peg Someone:
The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Pegging
Your Journey to Becoming a Pro Pegger Starts Here.
In recent years, the topic of pegging has taken the world by storm, making its mark in popular media on both the big screen (think Deadpool ) and the small screen (think Broad City ). In fact, the latter’s pegging-focused episode caused a significant spike in Google searches for the term ‘pegging’ shortly after it aired in 2015.
Whether it’s due to better representation in film and television, a societal shift toward embracing sex positivity and encouraging healthy sexual exploration, or a combination of both, one thing is clear: the act of pegging—or at least the conversations surrounding it—has never been more popular.
What is Pegging?
‘Pegging’ refers to the sexual act where one person uses a strap-on dildo to anally penetrate another. The term was first introduced by author Dan Savage in his 2001 sex advice column, Savage Love. Initially, it specifically described vagina owners as the penetrators and penis owners as the receivers. Over time, however, the term has evolved to become more inclusive, embracing all gender identities, body types, and relationship dynamics. We love how sex positivity continues to grow and adapt!
The Appeal of Pegging
The reasons people are drawn to pegging are as varied as the individuals who participate in or are curious about it. For many, physical pleasure is a key motivator. The anus and rectum are densely packed with nerve endings that, when properly stimulated, can create intense sensations—something pegging excels at delivering.
For others, the appeal lies more in the psychological aspects. When a vagina owner takes on the role of the penetrator and a penis owner becomes the receiver, the dynamic shift can be exhilarating. This role reversal allows both partners to explore new dimensions of intimacy and play. Additionally, the perceived power dynamics—where penetration is often associated with dominance and being penetrated with submission—can add an extra layer of excitement. This makes pegging a popular activity within the BDSM community, where power exchange is a central theme.
The Art of Conversation: Discussing Pegging with Your Partner
If you’re interested in exploring pegging with your partner, the first step toward turning your fantasy into reality is to communicate openly. As with any intimate conversation, timing and setting are crucial.
Avoid bringing up the topic right before or immediately after sexual activity. Introducing the idea just before intimacy can create pressure for your partner to respond on the spot, while mentioning it right after sex might make them feel like their performance—or your overall sex life together—is being critiqued. Instead, choose a neutral moment when they’re relaxed and not in a vulnerable state. The setting should be private, where both of you feel physically and emotionally safe.
While it’s natural to enthusiastically share why pegging excites you and how it appeals to you, make sure to leave space for your partner to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively, address their concerns, and answer their questions thoughtfully. This creates a foundation of mutual understanding and respect, which is essential for exploring new experiences together.
Navigating Consent and Boundaries
Whether your partner responds with a “yes,” “no,” or “maybe,” it’s essential to respect their decision without pressuring them to change their mind, especially if their answer isn’t what you hoped for.
If Your Partner Says “No” to Pegging:
Thank your partner for being open to the conversation and reassure them that their disinterest in pegging won’t negatively affect your relationship. Sharing fantasies can be vulnerable, but so can declining something a partner is excited about. Let them know you respect their boundaries and avoid revisiting the topic unless they bring it up again.
If Your Partner Says “Yes” to Pegging:
Now it’s time to have a detailed discussion about your upcoming pegging session to ensure everyone feels comfortable, manage expectations, and make the experience as smooth as possible. Talk about what an ideal pegging experience looks like for both of you, and ask how you can support them before, during, and after to ensure they feel safe, relaxed, and cared for.
Safety First: Precautions and Tips for a Healthy Pegging Experience
Let’s face it—sex, like any physical activity, comes with risks. This is especially true when it comes to anal play. Here are some essential precautions and tips to ensure a safe and enjoyable pegging experience.
Minimizing the Risk of Encountering Fecal Matter
Let’s be honest: when it comes to the rectum, fecal matter can sometimes make an appearance. While this is a natural part of anatomy, there are ways to minimize the chances of encountering it during pegging.
- The receiving partner should have had a bowel movement within the last 12-24 hours before play. Afterward, they should thoroughly clean their anal area. This could involve washing the exterior with water and mild soap or using an anal douche for more thorough cleansing. Both methods work—it just depends on personal preference and comfort levels.
- If using an enema, do so at least one hour before anal play to avoid increasing the risk of encountering fecal matter. For more guidance, check out our article on How to Use an Anal Douche.
Even with the best precautions, accidents can still happen. If a mess occurs, stay calm and compassionate. Clean up promptly, reassure your partner that this is a natural bodily function, and consider trying again another time.
Preventing Infection and STI Transmission During Pegging
Like all forms of sexual activity, pegging carries the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). To reduce this risk, follow these steps:
- Know your and your partner’s STI statuses. Make informed decisions based on this information, such as taking medications like PrEP if necessary.
- Use safer-sex barrier methods, such as condoms for strap-on dildos and dental dams for other activities. Always use protection with shared sex toys.
- Avoid sharing porous strap-on dildos between partners. If sharing is necessary, stick to non-porous materials that can be properly sanitized.
In addition to STIs, other types of infections can occur from improper hygiene. That’s why it’s crucial to thoroughly clean all sex toys before and after each use.
Pain and Injury Prevention
Pegging doesn’t have to be painful—in fact, it shouldn’t be! Follow these tips to ensure a comfortable and injury-free experience:
- Use plenty of lubricant that’s compatible with your strap-on dildo’s material. Lubrication is key to preventing discomfort and friction.
- Be patient. Start slow and gradually increase intensity. Don’t rush the process.
- Choose a sex toy that’s appropriately sized for the receiver’s level of experience. Beginners should start with smaller toys and work their way up as they become more comfortable.
Avoid using numbing agents, even if you’re nervous about discomfort. Pain is your body’s way of signaling that something isn’t right. Ignoring these signals could lead to injury. Instead, listen to your body and adjust accordingly.
Gear Up: Essential Items for Your Pegging Journey
While it’s ultimately up to you and your partner to decide which intimate products to include in your pegging experience, at a minimum, you’ll need a strap-on harness and lubricant to get started.
Strap-On Harnesses
When it comes to strap-on equipment, there are two main options: traditional harnesses (paired with compatible dildos) and strapless strap-ons.
Traditional Harnesses: These are an excellent choice for beginners because they securely hold the dildo in place, allowing you to thrust confidently without worrying about slippage. To ensure comfort and functionality, choose a harness that fits your body type by checking the product’s dimensions and size guide. Additionally, confirm that the harness is compatible with your anatomy and works well with the dildo you plan to use.
The best traditional strap-on harnesses
10 frequency vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.
10 Modes Mini Vibrator
¥29.90 – ¥31.90
10 Speed Clit Sucker
¥31.90 – ¥33.90
2 In 1 Sucking Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.
20 Speed Powerful Vibrating Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.
3 In 1 Dildo Rabbit Vibrator
¥39.90 – ¥51.90
30 Speed G Spot Rabbit Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.
3D Vagina Male Nasturbators
Original price was: ¥139.90.¥69.90Current price is: ¥69.90.
7 Modes G Spot Vibrator Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.
7.48″ Inches Lifelike Silicone Dildo
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.Some traditional harnesses come bundled with one or more compatible dildos, known as strap-on kits. These kits are perfect for beginners who want to quickly build their pegging toy collection or for those who feel overwhelmed by too many choices. With a strap-on kit, you can spend less time researching individual components and more time enjoying the experience.
The best strap-on kits
10 frequency vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.10 Modes Mini Vibrator
¥29.90 – ¥31.9010 Speed Clit Sucker
¥31.90 – ¥33.902 In 1 Sucking Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.20 Speed Powerful Vibrating Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.3 In 1 Dildo Rabbit Vibrator
¥39.90 – ¥51.9030 Speed G Spot Rabbit Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.3D Vagina Male Nasturbators
Original price was: ¥139.90.¥69.90Current price is: ¥69.90.7 Modes G Spot Vibrator Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.7.48″ Inches Lifelike Silicone Dildo
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.Strapless Strap-Ons: These are ideal for individuals with vaginas who want to enjoy dual stimulation. The vaginal insertable portion of the toy provides pleasure for the wearer while the external dildo is used for penetration. This style also offers a heightened sense of realism, as the dildo feels like a natural extension of the wearer’s body.
The best strapless strap-ons
10 frequency vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.10 Modes Mini Vibrator
¥29.90 – ¥31.9010 Speed Clit Sucker
¥31.90 – ¥33.902 In 1 Sucking Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.20 Speed Powerful Vibrating Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.3 In 1 Dildo Rabbit Vibrator
¥39.90 – ¥51.9030 Speed G Spot Rabbit Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.3D Vagina Male Nasturbators
Original price was: ¥139.90.¥69.90Current price is: ¥69.90.7 Modes G Spot Vibrator Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.7.48″ Inches Lifelike Silicone Dildo
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.Strap-On Dildos
A strap-on harness without a dildo is like a library without books—pretty useless. The key difference between standard dildos and strap-on dildos is that strap-on dildos feature a flared base, which allows them to securely attach to harnesses. However, not all strap-on dildos are compatible with every harness—their compatibility depends on the size of the harness’s O-ring (or other opening) and the girth of the dildo’s base.
Just like regular dildos, strap-on dildos come in a wide variety of styles to suit different preferences and needs: vibrating, realistic, abstract, petite, large, hollow, solid, and curved for G-spot or P-spot stimulation, to name a few. Beginners to pegging will likely want to start with a smaller strap-on dildo, as it will be easier for the wearer to handle and for the receiver to accommodate.
The best strap-on dildos for beginners
10 frequency vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.10 Modes Mini Vibrator
¥29.90 – ¥31.9010 Speed Clit Sucker
¥31.90 – ¥33.902 In 1 Sucking Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.20 Speed Powerful Vibrating Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.3 In 1 Dildo Rabbit Vibrator
¥39.90 – ¥51.9030 Speed G Spot Rabbit Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.3D Vagina Male Nasturbators
Original price was: ¥139.90.¥69.90Current price is: ¥69.90.7 Modes G Spot Vibrator Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.7.48″ Inches Lifelike Silicone Dildo
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.Lubricant
Since the anus is not a self-lubricating orifice, it requires significant assistance to achieve the level of slickness needed for healthy, comfortable penetrative sex. Skipping lube can result in a painful experience at best and potential injury at worst (think anal fissures or tears). To ensure a smooth and enjoyable pegging session, generously apply a high-quality lubricant to both the strap-on dildo and the receiver’s anal area. Don’t hesitate to reapply as needed during the session—keeping things slippery is key!
For pegging, the ideal lubricant should be long-lasting and compatible with the materials of your strap-on dildo. Water-based lubes are versatile and safe for most toys, while silicone-based lubes offer longer-lasting slickness but should only be used with non-porous dildos to avoid damage.
Preparing for the Main Event
Before diving into the main event, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about expectations and preferences regarding pegging. Discuss what you both hope to gain from the experience and how you can support each other to ensure maximum comfort and enjoyment during the session.
Next comes the fun part—foreplay! While foreplay is important for both partners, it’s especially crucial for the receiving partner to be fully aroused and relaxed. To safely and pleasurably accommodate a strap-on dildo, their body—and specifically their anal area—needs to be as relaxed as possible. Start with a full-body sensual massage, gradually transitioning into an anal-focused massage to set the mood and prepare them for pleasure.
Once you’ve moved on to anal play—whether through massage or other techniques—be sure to give their backside plenty of attention. Rimming, anal fingering, and gentle anal massages are excellent ways to stimulate and relax the area, priming it for the main event.
How to Peg Someone?
Now that you’ve secured consent and gathered all the necessary tools, you’re ready to turn your fantasy into reality. Follow these steps for a smooth and enjoyable pegging experience.
Step 1: Strap Up
Let’s be honest—putting on your strap-on harness and attaching the dildo can feel a bit awkward at first, especially if it’s your first time. However, you can make the process sexier by treating your strap-on as functional lingerie. Put it on before play begins so your partner doesn’t see you fumbling with it in case you encounter any difficulty.
Having your strap-on already in place when things heat up can also be a major turn-on and allow you to incorporate it into foreplay. Imagine how hot it could be to reveal your ready-to-use strap-on by pulling down your pants or lifting your skirt! You can even encourage your partner to treat it like your cock—stroking, kissing, or sucking on it before moving forward.
Step 2: Heat Things Up and Stretch That Butthole
Foreplay—and especially anal-focused foreplay for the receiver—is a crucial part of a mutually satisfying pegging experience. Pegging isn’t a quickie-friendly activity, so take your time arousing both yourself and your partner before transitioning to full-on strap-on penetration.
Remember, the strap-on dildo should not be the first thing to enter the receiver’s anus. Start slow with a well-lubricated finger to loosen them up, and consider using a butt plug during foreplay to help prepare their butthole for larger objects. This step ensures their comfort and makes the transition smoother and more pleasurable.
Step 3: Penetrate and Peg
Once everyone is aroused and ready, it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for: pegging your partner! Before inserting the strap-on dildo, apply a generous amount of lube to both the toy and their anus. With everything slick and slippery, begin by slowly penetrating their butthole with the head of the dildo. Allow the dildo to remain stationary for a minute or two, giving their anus time to adjust to its girth.
Gradually slide more of the dildo inside, pausing periodically to let them acclimate to the sensation. Once they’ve taken as much as they’re comfortable with, you can begin gentle thrusting. Let the receiver set the pace and depth of penetration—go slow and prioritize their comfort throughout the process.
How to Increase Pleasure for the Wearer?
Strapless strap-ons aren’t the only way for peggers to enjoy added stimulation! There are plenty of creative ways to enhance pleasure for both the wearer and the receiver.
- Vibrating Dildos: Choose a vibrating dildo to add extra stimulation for both parties, or attach a vibrating cock ring to your dildo to instantly turn it into a vibrator.
- Clitoral Stimulation for Vagina Owners: If you have a vagina, position the base of the strap-on dildo over your pubic mound to indirectly stimulate the internal portion of your clitoris. Alternatively, use a stimulating cushion or attachment at the base of the harness that rubs against your vulva for added pleasure.
- Additional Toys: Incorporate other sex toys unrelated to strap-on play, such as butt plugs or nipple clamps, to further enhance the experience.
With a little creativity, pegging can become an intensely pleasurable experience for everyone involved!
Toys to please peggers
10 frequency vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.10 Modes Mini Vibrator
¥29.90 – ¥31.9010 Speed Clit Sucker
¥31.90 – ¥33.902 In 1 Sucking Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.20 Speed Powerful Vibrating Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.3 In 1 Dildo Rabbit Vibrator
¥39.90 – ¥51.9030 Speed G Spot Rabbit Vibrator
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.3D Vagina Male Nasturbators
Original price was: ¥139.90.¥69.90Current price is: ¥69.90.7 Modes G Spot Vibrator Egg
Original price was: ¥71.90.¥31.90Current price is: ¥31.90.7.48″ Inches Lifelike Silicone Dildo
Original price was: ¥89.90.¥49.90Current price is: ¥49.90.Pegging Tips for Beginners
Want to peg like a pro? Start slow and build your confidence—it’s the key to mastering the art of pegging!
TIP 1: Practice Makes Perfect
Wearing and using a strap-on can take some getting used to. To feel more confident and prepared, try practicing on your own before involving your partner. Put on your harness, adjust the straps to fit comfortably, and get familiar with how it feels to move around while wearing it. Practicing solo will help you avoid surprises during the real thing and ensure you’re comfortable operating your strap-on when the time comes.
TIP 2: There’s No Such Thing as Too Much Lube
Lubrication is absolutely essential for all forms of penetration, especially anal play. Since the anus doesn’t produce natural lubrication, be sure to have plenty of high-quality lube on hand. Apply a generous amount to both the strap-on dildo and your partner’s anus before starting, and reapply as needed throughout the session. A slippery experience is a safe and pleasurable one!
TIP 3: Start Small
While giant dildos might look impressive, they’re not the best choice for beginners. For your first few pegging sessions, opt for a smaller dildo to ensure comfort and ease. A large dildo can be intimidating and painful for someone new to pegging, so start conservatively and work your way up in size as you and your partner gain more experience.
TIP 4: Be Patient and Gentle
Pegging is a journey, not a race. Even if you and your partner are excited, take your time and prioritize foreplay to ensure both of you are fully relaxed and aroused. When it’s time for penetration, go slow, smooth, and gentle—this isn’t the moment for aggressive thrusting! Trust the process, and remember that patience leads to a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.
TIP 5: Talk It Out
Communication is key to a successful pegging experience (and yes, dirty talk is encouraged too!). Before you begin, discuss your expectations and boundaries with your partner. During the session, check in regularly to see if they’re comfortable or if you need to adjust your technique. Afterward, have an open conversation about how it went and whether you’d like to explore pegging again. The more you communicate, the more fulfilling and joyful your experience will be!
Don’t Forget Aftercare!
The fun doesn’t end when the pegging session is over—proper aftercare is essential to ensure everyone feels their best, both physically and emotionally.
Physical Aftercare:
Cleanup is crucial. Thoroughly wash all sex toys used during the session, as well as your bodies, to remove any lingering bacteria that could lead to infections. Proper hygiene helps maintain health and ensures a positive experience for future sessions.
Emotional Aftercare:
Take time to reflect on the experience with your partner. Discuss what they enjoyed and what they might want to adjust next time. Ask how they’re feeling and if there’s anything you can do to make them more comfortable. Being on the receiving end of pegging can leave someone feeling vulnerable, so offer reassurance through words of affirmation, gentle cuddling, or any form of comfort they appreciate.
Aftercare not only strengthens your connection but also sets the tone for future exploration.
Peg On (Or Don’t!)
After trying pegging, you might discover that it’s not the right fit for you or your partner—and that’s completely okay! There are still plenty of other passionate and exciting ways to explore intimacy. However, if you both thoroughly enjoy your first adventure into the world of pegging, get ready—there’s so much more to discover!
Once you’re comfortable with the basics, you can start experimenting with different positions, harness styles, and strap-on dildos. The possibilities are endless! Just remember, there’s no need to rush into advanced toys or practices. Sometimes, the best experiences come from taking your time and savoring the journey.
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