How To Use a Dildo For The First Time

Welcome, sensual explorer into the world of dildos! Whether you have just purchased your first penetration toy or are interested in getting one, this How to Use a Dildo guide will teach you everything you ever wanted to know about using your new dildo for self-pleasure and orgasms.

What is a Dildo?

A dildo is a phallic-shaped sex toy that is solely intended to be used for the purpose of insertion. When we think of the word dildo, usually a toy that closely resembles a penis comes to mind. While it is true many dildos do look like a penis – and some are even modeled after male porn star’s body parts with a pronounced head, veins, balls, and all – there is a whole spectrum of toys that fall under the classification of dildo.

Aside from realistic dildos, which are usually made of a flesh-like material, dildos come in lots of different materials. There are beautiful glass dildos that look like sensual sculptures, body-safe silicone dildos in a wide range of rainbow colors, and metal dildos that are more rigid and intense.

Dildos (also called dongs) also come in an assortment of shapes and sizes and can be used to stimulate various erogenous zones, based on their shape and function. There are dildos that are curved to stimulate the G-spot or the P-spot, dildos with suction cups for hands-free penetration, as well as strap-on dildos for pegging and girl-on-girl play.

While dildos are designed for penetration, many also vibrate, twist and turn, and thrust as well. There are even dildos you can make yourself with Clone-a-Willy molding kits, and others that glow in the dark.

Who are Dildos for?

There is a big misconception about dildos that they are made just for cis-gendered vulva owners or lesbians.

In truth, dildos can be used by any body, in any way they please, and may be received and enjoyed by folx of all genders and sexual orientations.

Dildos, after all, are genderless. They are just a sex toy. And using a specific type of sex toy or enjoying certain types of sexual play, such as penetration, doesn’t change your sexual orientation or gender identity.

Why would someone want to use a Dildo?

Dildos are one of the bestselling sex toys on the market, and many people love them, regardless of gender identity, or sexual preference, for a myriad of reasons.

These include:

  • For solo penetration and self-pleasure when one is without a partner
  • To explore double penetration with a partner or when going solo
  • To enlarge the size of one’s existing penis
  • To use for penetration with a partner who doesn’t have their own physical penis, or due to erectile dysfunction
  • To align our sexual organs with our gender identity, sexuality, and gender expression
  • To practice or incorporate new ways of enjoying oral sex
  • To slowly get used to vaginal penetration for those who may suffer from pain or tightness during penetrative sex
  • To stimulate the G-spot or P-spot for whole-body pleasure and orgasms

There are so many ways to love a dildo!

How to masturbate with a Dildo

Now that you know what a dildo is and what type of pleasure you could use it for, let’s get into some juicy tips on how to use one!

Set the mood

As with any type of sexy play, you will have a more rewarding experience if you set the mood beforehand. Putting some intention and creating a bit of ambiance into your play session can certainly amp up the volume for more pleasure.

Setting the mood can be anything that makes you feel sexy. Putting on some music, lighting some incense or candles, or getting nice and cozy under a comfy quilt. You may also like to read, listen to, or watch a bit of erotica to get you hot. Whatever floats your boat!

Gather all your sexy supplies nearby so you have them handy. Lube, dildo, vibrators, sensual play toys. Maybe even have an array of your favorite dildos on hand, depending on your needs and desires.

Always use Lube

Sexual lubricants make everything sexier, slicker, and more sensual. Dildos, unlike a real penis, tend to be drying, so using a good water-based lubricant aids in smoothing the way and enhances overall pleasure. There are even organic lubes for people who have sensitive skin or want to use only certified organic ingredients.

Since the anus is NOT self-lubricating, it is essential to always use a good thick anal lube for ass play. Lubes help to alleviate friction and can aid in your body’s elasticity so it can stretch without micro-abrasions or tearing.

Of course, you want to start slow and use foreplay to warm yourself up beforehand as well.

Start with a small-sized Dildo

When you are beginning your journey into the realm of penetration play with dildos, it is a good idea to start small. Even a small dildo can feel really huge if you have not played with penetration play before, whether that is vaginally or anally.

Keep in mind, that the anus is quite sensitive and doesn’t naturally stretch as much as the vagina will. So when you are inserting a dildo, it is going to feel much bigger than it is.

For beginners we recommend starting with a dildo that is no more than 1 inch in diameter, to begin with. You can always upgrade to a larger dildo over time if so desired.

If you are using your dildo with a partner, make sure to communicate your level of comfort, and if you feel any discomfort or pain to let them know and stop right away to avoid any injury.

Ensure the Dildo has flared base if using Anally

All anal toys have a flared base for safety reasons. This is because the rectum can suck things up inside of it, which can cause you to lose your toy – a situation that is not fun for anyone. So take care to always get a dildo with a flared base for anal penetration.

Explore satisfying positions

When exploring with a dildo during solo play, try playing with various positions to see what feels best.

For G-spot or P-spot play, you may want to try lying on your back, legs spread wide and bent, or partially sitting. With a suction cup dildo, you can position it on a wall to explore doggie play, or on a flat horizontal surface like a chair to thrust up and down upon.

When lying on your back, try to move your hips with your thrusts, rock your body, undulate, and pulse your PC muscles to accentuate your pleasure.

With the dildo itself, you can use deep or shallow thrusts, or try rocking against the G-spot or P-spot to milk it. If you are a vulva owner, you may also like to explore the deeper pleasure of cervical or A-spot orgasms.

Clean thoroughly after use

You should always clean your toys before and after every use. You can use mild, fragrance-free soap and warm water, or get a sex toy cleaner especially for that purpose.

  • First, rinse your sex toy under warm water to remove any lube and body fluids.

  • Then add a bit of liquid soap and gently clean your toy, especially in any grooves or crevasses.

  • Thoroughly rinse with warm water, then lay on a clean, lint-free towel to dry overnight if possible.

  • Store away from other sex toys in its own storage box or bag in a cool, dry place.

Using a Dildo with a partner

Want to try your new dildo out with your partner? Awesome! Read on for the best tips on dildo play with your significant other.

Communication is key

Communication is an essential part of good sex. Make sure to discuss your preferences, limits, and boundaries before you play with your partner, and keep the lines of communication open during play as well. This will ensure the best experience for everyone involved.

Keep your toys clean

While using a strap-on sex toy for pegging, or a dildo during partner play is fairly low risk in terms of sexual activity, there is still a chance of obtaining an STI transmission if the toy is not fully sterilized between partners. Some toys can’t be thoroughly sterilized because they are porous.

Therefore, you may want to use condoms (recommended!), when sharing your toys with others, especially if you are not already fluid-bonded. Using a condom is also the best way to keep your dildo squeaky clean when using it for anal play as well.

Best positions for using a Dildo

There are lots of exciting positions you can try out when it comes to pegging, strap-on sex, or dildo play. Here are a few of our favorites, that just maybe yours too!

  • Doggie Style: Doggie style is a classic for a reason – because it feels amazing and hits all those spots just right. Whether you are going for the G-spot or anal sex, doggie allows for deeper thrusting and more control.

  • Squatting Cowgirl: Squatting cowgirl, or cow person, is a great way for the person being penetrated to take control by being on top. This can be very empowering and allows them to manipulate the angle and depth of thrusting.

  • Double Penetration: Double P is perfect for when you want both partners to be penetrated at the same time, with the same dildo (one at either end), or if you want all your pleasure zones filled simultaneously.

  • Spit Roast: A spit roast position is when one partner is being penetrated both from behind, doggie style, and orally at the same time. Usually, you need a threesome to accommodate this position. However, you can use a suction cup dildo attached to the wall to act as the third party, and simulate a three-way play fantasy.

There is more than one way to enjoy dildo pleasure!

Types of Dildos to explore

Dildos are such versatile toys with so many options for pleasure. Here are a few of our favorites and why we think they are the bomb!

Realistic Dildos

Realistic dildos are the most lifelike, and as already mentioned, are often molded straight from real-life body parts, which adds greatly to their overall realism in both look and feel.

Glass Dildos

Glass dildos are smooth, cool, and delicious! You can warm them up to body temperature by immersing them in very warm water or cool them off to try temperature play sensations. Glass dildos are hard, which makes them ideal for G-spot pleasure as the G-spot usually enjoys firm pressure.

Suction Cup Dildos

We’ve already mentioned all the ways that suction cup dildos can be so much fun! Seriously, if you are a dildo lover then a suction cup dildo is a must-have for any sex toy collection.

Vibrating Dildos

Get an extra thrill by getting a dildo that vibrates. Use it to tickle and tease all your erogenous areas both inside and out.

Strap-On Dildos

Strap-on dildos are perfect for vulva owners and people who don’t have a working penis, to explore and enjoy penetration play with your partner. Strap-ons are an exciting option for exploring gender role reversal as well.

Thrusting Dildos

Who wouldn’t like a dildo that thrusts effortlessly inside you and does all the work? Thrusting dildos are like miniature hand-held sex toy machines with powerful in-and-out thrusting action that moves and grooves you in all the right ways!

Best sex toys to pair with a Dildo

Dildos are more fun than bubble wrap, and you can totally use them without any other toys. But just in case you are feeling adventurous (and we know you are!), here are some great toys you can pair with dildo play!

Clitoral Suction Vibrator

Since vulva owners primarily orgasm from clitoral stimulation, adding in a clitoral-sucking toy is a no-brainer. If you haven’t tried clit suckers before, you REALLY don’t know what you are missing. Stimulating both the clitoris and your G-spot or anus is exquisite beyond pleasure.

Masturbator Toys

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For penis owners, adding a bit of penis stimulation to your back-door adventures will quickly put you quickly over the edge when you pair it with a ribbed tunnel of love (aka masturbator) to accentuate your solo play.

Nipple Suckers

We all have nips, so why leave them out of the party? Our nipples are sexually wired to stimulate the genitals and can make dildo play that much more erotic. There are lots of different nipple toys to experiment and play with including nipple clampsnipple suckers, and pumps, for a multi-sensory orgasm.

Dildo-use tips

Yes… we have a few more tips, you dildo wrangler you!

Avoid using porous Dildos

Porous sex toys are toys that have teeny, tiny pores in the material, meaning bacteria can seep inside and they can’t be thoroughly sterilized.

We advise using them with a condom, especially for sharing or anal play. Or stick to silicone toys, which can be sterilized for hygienic play.

Use a harness for some hands-free action

Harnesses and dildos go together like peanut butter and jelly!

Getting a harness gives you lots more options, especially for pegging and partner play. Most harness-compatible dildos have suction-cup bases for hands-free fun as well during solo play as well.

Always make sure the harness you buy is compatible with the size of your dildo by checking the size of the O-ring. Better yet, go for a dildo-plus-harness combo set, like the one mentioned above to save you the guess work.

Enjoy your new dildo adventure and happy orgasms!

Recommended Dildos

More Sex Advice Guides

  • Beginner's Guide to Dildos
  • How to Use Suction Cup Dildos
  • Beginner’s Guide to Pegging

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