How to Explore Anal Masturbation

Let’s dive into all things anal masturbation—why you should give it a try, how to do it safely and enjoyably, and the best toys to take your solo anal play to the next level.

Any time is a great time to up your game and explore your pleasure. For a lot of people, the word “anal” isn’t neutral and they can have a pretty strong reaction to hearing it. If they’ve never tried it, many may have an immediate response of “no” or “not for me” around the idea of anal play, regardless of whether it’s partnered anal play or anal masturbation.

I’m a firm believer that true knowing is experiential knowing. We have so many conditioned ideas in the sexual realm about what’s pleasurable and what’s not, what’s allowed and what’s forbidden, because talking about it has been taboo for so long.

All I can say is, if you haven’t ever tried anal play, there’s no time like the present. It may or may not be for you, but you won’t know if you don’t try!

Another reason to give anal play a try is knowing that the pudendal nerve (located in your pelvic region) is the same nerve involved in the pleasure you experience from stimulation of the clitoris, vulva, penis, and perineum. This is why it’s possible to experience an anal orgasm from stimulating this area.

The great thing about solo anal play is that you get to explore the sensations and experience of being both the giver and the receiver.

Start with hygiene. It’s important to empty your bowels and take a shower, cleaning externally with an antibacterial soap before partaking in anal masturbation. Short nails are best, or you might want to consider a finger cot (it’s like a condom for the finger) for extra protection.

Remember, the anus isn’t self-lubricating, so you really can’t have too much lube. While there’s a debate over whether water-based or silicone lube is better, many people experienced with anal play prefer silicone because it lasts longer. That said, silicone lube isn’t compatible with silicone anal toys.

Best Position for Anal Masturbation

Get into position. A good one to start with is knees pulled up to your chest and a pillow or wedge under your pelvis to give you better access. You can also try getting on all fours and reaching behind you.

I can’t stress enough the importance of only introducing massage or any anal play when you’re already highly aroused. Enjoy getting yourself all hot and bothered with your usual solo play before you begin to explore anal masturbation.

Start with your index or middle finger, rubbing or massaging your anal opening and inner rim. It can be helpful if you tighten or contract your PC muscles (Kegels) and your buttocks. On the release, insert your well-lubricated finger about ¼ inch. Relax, hold for 3-4 seconds, and repeat—contracting muscles, relaxing the anus, and sliding your finger further in as you go, taking all the time you need.

Some people find it really enjoyable to stroke their clitoris or penis at the same time with their other hand. For vulva owners, it’s important to know you can never use a finger or toy from anal play for stimulation of the clitoris or the vulva, as this can cause infections.

Anal toys are also a great way to explore pleasure, as we don’t always have the flexibility or dexterity to hit the internal spots that feel best. Make sure anything you stick in your butt is flared or flanged because if not, when you orgasm and the muscles contract, it can have a vacuum effect where it slips straight into your anal opening and gets lost in the rectum. I assure you, a trip to the ER isn’t what you want to finish your play.

Make sure to clean your toys before and after every use and ensure they are completely dry before putting them away. If they are non-porous—such as silicone or stainless steel—and don’t vibrate or are waterproof, you can use water and mild, unscented hand or dish soap. For ease, I also highly recommend iDear’s Fresh Toy Cleaner, which is safe to use on all sex toy materials.

As you explore G-spot and P-spot stimulation through anal play, remember the mantra of “try, try again.” Assuming your experience wasn’t painful (a red light when you should always stop) and you only felt so-so about the sensation and experience (yellow light), I recommend trying several times to see if, as you relax into the experience, the yellow light goes green and you now have a new go-to pleasure practice to add to your sexual repertoire.

How to Explore Anal Masturbation

Best Position for Anal Masturbation

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