How to Have Anal Sex

As you can see, no matter if you’ve got an innie or an outie, your anal area is pretty similar. One difference we want to highlight is the prostate gland, which is an organ that folks with penises tend to have. When stimulated, the prostate can provide outstanding pleasure.

It’s sometimes been called the “male G-spot,” but we’re not fans of that term. What we do love is the prostate’s amazing ability to potentially trigger dry orgasms—orgasms that happen without any penis touching at all. It’s practically magic!

Consent, Communication, and Comfort

Our top tip for the best anal sex ever? Make sure it’s something both you and your partner really want. “Accidentally” going in the back door is not cool. Enthusiasm is key, baby.

Our top advice? Talk about trying anal outside the bedroom first so you both know where you stand. Make it a goal on your bucket list and work towards it together.

In fact, an iDear forum member shared their journey to their first anal sex experience in a blog post. Reading about their experience might give you some ideas on how to approach anal in your relationship.

If your partner isn’t interested in or excited by anal sex, that’s totally okay. You can still enjoy other intimate activities together—preferably ones you’re both into.

Practice, Practice, Practice

No matter how eager you are to try anal, it can still feel a little daunting to think about something (or someone) going in the “out door.” So, we highly recommend taking some time on your own to explore the anus and all its pleasure possibilities. The more you know, the more you can effectively communicate what feels good to your partner. Plus, by getting your back door accustomed to having company, you’ll find it much easier to relax and enjoy the main event when the time comes.

Clean Before Anal Sex

Like any other kind of sex, you probably want to feel fresh and clean before you get down and dirty. That’s half the fun, right?

Because anal brings your partner close to, well, poop, some people choose to douche to cleanse their anus before anal sex. Douching isn’t required—it’s all about personal preference. Check out our complete guide to douching if you’re curious.

Even if you choose not to douche, completing your usual personal grooming will help you get in the right mindset for having sex. In particular, it’s good to make sure you’ve completed your regular bowel movement a few hours before you have anal.

Gather Your Supplies

You’ve probably heard that the anus does not self-lubricate. If not, please note: unlike the vagina, the anus does NOT self-lubricate.

To enjoy good anal sex, you’ll definitely want some lubricant. Water-based anal lube is the easiest to find and works well with all condoms, which we also recommend using.

If you’re planning on a longer session or one in the shower, some silicone anal lube will do the trick.

Don’t skimp on condoms just because pregnancy is less of a factor. Condoms and other forms of protection, like PrEP, are highly recommended to help keep you and your partner safe during anal sex.